What would life be like with two children?, I often wondered. The first six to eight weeks after Natalie was born were hard, for sure. They were hard for different reasons and on different days. Some days I felt very victorious during the morning hours, but like a complete failure in the afternoon. I’m going to shift all of those thoughts and say it was the flux in my hormones that caused it, because let’s face it: hormones are a beast ;)
But now we’re at nine weeks old. Natalie has grown into her body a bit more and sleeps 6-7 hours/night before waking to nurse (yessssssss). Maxwell is communicating with us at crazy awesome levels and as the weeks pass his vocabulary grows. My mama instinct says these two things are HUGE in helping me feel like we’ve reached a sense of normalcy ’round here.
And it’s almost like that’s all that matters. When everyone gets the rest they need it’s easier to move through the day with a smile on our faces. Communication has always been a huge part of my life (y’all know I love to talk), and similarly when Zack and I are having a low-communication day, everything else feels “off”. So whenever Max struggles to communicate with me, of course life instantly feels 10x more difficult; talking something out is how I process life.
The way I feel today is vastly different from how I felt just a few weeks prior. I’ve taken the pressure off myself so I can “just be me” and it’s crazy how much that has helped. I’ve loosened my grip in certain areas and tightened up in others. This month, as part of my “one little thing”, I’m focusing on moving forward. That means I’m sharing how I feel more often, taking more photos, and letting the small creative moments actually happen throughout the day (when I have time to be creative)! I’m holding back less, and it feels so good.
I’m excited for the months to come when I feel EVEN MORE awesome at being a mama of two. Natalie is growing each day and will soon interact with Max. And Max, my firstborn, is sharing with us what interests him, which is so exciting. Everyone is learning something each day and it’s my goal to recognize and celebrate just that.
I mentioned to Zack the other night that I wasn’t sure what my purpose was for life “right now”. There’s a lot going on right now and it’s not as clear as it used to be in years past. Come morning, however, I had such a different perspective on my purpose and refreshingly, a different outlook on the days to come.
Related: having two babies makes me feel like I’ve hit the jackpot of mamahood. I’m able to tap into the lessons I learned with Maxwell and apply them to taking care of Natalie. I know what to be concerned about and what to let go. I’m more confident and less afraid, but definitely more emotional. There’s so much good to being able to experience another healthy pregnancy, VBAC delivery, and post birth at home.
*hugs* I can’t believe how much Natalie looks like Maxwell, just with dark hair. Well, I can considering she’s his sister, lol, but holy smokes! She is just adorble! I wouldn’t be surprised if people mistake them for twins when they’re older and the small age gap isn’t as obvious.
Maggie, I just want to say that I love your outlook on life. So many challenges have come your way with Natalie entering your family and a whole new dynamic has taken over, but you present yourself with such poise and positivity that I simply love hearing from you, whether it be on FB, Instagram or your blog.
Keep being inspirational! I need some of it :D
It’s one of best things to giggle about — how much these two kiddos look alike as infants. She even makes the same facial expressions he did, priceless!
I so appreciate your positive comment, thank you! I don’t always have poise to begin with but I’d like to think once I process the situation I exhibit a bit at the end :)
What a beautiful, heartfelt post. All the things you mentioned — those are your purpose in life right now. Sounds like you have had quite a journey and it seems to get better every day. Go girl!
Yes — you’re totally right! ♥
Any tips (either mentally/emotionally or physically) for a VBAC hopeful like myself? I’m 3.5 (the half is important!) weeks away from #2 and I’d love to have a VBAC
Does your medical practitioner know you are hoping to VBAC? Multiple times during the pregnancy I discussed with my OB how my body was progressing/adapting for a VBAC — it’s important your practitioner knows your delivery plans. I also reminded myself I may not have a VBAC, although it’s amazing to me what we can accomplish when we dig deep into our souls for energy/strength.
Because Natalie came so fast (she was born less than two hours after we pulled into the ER entrance) my body didn’t have time to register an epidural, which means YES I felt all of the pain of labor & delivery. But what else that means is I could feel what I was doing during each push. I knew how to adjust myself to help her descend. With Natalie I pushed for less than 30 minutes.
With Maxwell, I was in labor for over 30 hours with over 4 hours of active pushing. I had an epidural but couldn’t feel a thing I was doing, and he was finally born via c-section (for multiple reasons).
I’d encourage you to not get an epidural. The pain of labor & delivery is intense, but it helped my body know what was going on safely and more quickly than my previous experience with an epidural. Whatever you decide, however your baby is born, I pray you a healthy and enjoyable experience :)
You are truly inspiring, Maggie! I rarely comment but always read your posts. I love how honest and real you share your life. I appreciate your reminders of the beauty around us and your tips to recognize and experience it all (and your tips for dealing with the harder times). Please keep ’em coming. Thank you! :)
Thank you :)
I love this post. One day, I hope I have another kid to apply the lessons I’ve learned with my first. One kid is fun, but two sounds so much better. And maybe three or four ;D
That’s our hope, too :)