The other day I had a small “aha” moment and it was super encouraging since I’m still in the newborn & toddler craze. Zack was home these last two weeks during the holidays and we enjoyed all our time together as a family (obviously :)). But we also enjoyed a bit of solo time, too. Usually during naptime one of us leaves for a couple hours. It’s always refreshing to step away from something so constant as parenthood and remember that YES, I do exist as a solo person. (Something I need to remind myself often since having a second baby.) I admit, it was hard to audibly say, “Go on babe! We’ll see you in a few hours,” but I knew I needed to push Zack out the door. And I’m so glad I did.
The door clicked shut, I nursed Natalie, and then I put her in a wrap. I wore her for nearly 3 hours as she snored and slept. Maxwell was asleep in the nursery, and I accomplished so much for me. It was almost like it was *I* who had stepped out during naptime, it was that refreshing. While the babies slept I rolled clay into beads and wrote in my journal. The apartment was quiet and full of encouraging energy.
Working with clay is something I’ve been wanting to do for weeks now, but (seemingly) every time I got up to do so my hands were quickly pulled elsewhere. After such a successful baby-wearing experience during naptime, I’d say it was well worth the 9 week wait :)
After Natalie was born, my mom stayed with us for two weeks, and while she was here she encouraged me in my journey as a mama of two. Towards the end of her time with us — as she was watching me get my bearings — she began to encourage me to wear Natalie. And so I did, a few times, but never while doing something for myself.
I’m pretty sure baby wearing is the fastest way to remind myself that yes, I AM a creative person and yes, I DO love the weight of a sleeping baby on my chest, but perhaps most importantly it has reminded me that, yes, I AM still myself. Something I haven’t always felt as of recent, but my goodness this is such a lovely feeling.
I had been putting too much worry in wanting to spend time creating, but without any actual effort. Well, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you guessed it — it’s a pretty, sparkly light.