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Maggie Whitley

joy in motherhood, homemaking, faith & simple living

You are here: Home / family / 3 questions to ask your family…

3 questions to ask your family…

June 2, 2020 · 9 Comments
Filed Under: family

How are you processing this time of pandemic, oddity, and extreme closeness mixed with isolation? 

A lot of the time, it’s “mind over matter” at our house. In just a few days, Zack and I will celebrate 12 years of marriage. Our children are young in age, close in birth year, and so fun to be around. But also, this means we have to be so intentional with our time (especially our conversation).

Through my seven years of motherhood, I’ve learned the very best mothering (really all aspects of life) comes from setting our hearts and eyes on virtuous things.

By the way, here’s how I’d answer my question above.

I’m doing well, though it’s like I’m riding my bicycle on a steady hill of up and down. Some days I pedal hard to make it up the hill, other days I’m able to coast. The trick is to keep my feet on the pedals and my legs moving. I mean, I don’t want to fall off my bicycle (I’ve definitely done that before), nor do I want to get stuck in the overwhelm of panic or pessimism. I want to live wholly and freely.

If you’re feeling stormy (that’s what I call my overwhelm), here are some easy steps to consider…

Go outside and take a break from the normal scene.

Take a nap.

Read something inspiring or encouraging.

Calm your mind through prayer.

Remember Who made you.

Check a simple task off your to-do list. Hello, pep-talk!

Put your phone on silent, then hide it in a drawer.

Sit with your child and play / color / tell a story / rub her back.

Talk with your husband. Affirm him, compliment him, invite him on an evening date at home ;)

Gather your family around the table and enjoy a wholesome meal.

Over the last couple of months, I’ve realized it’s much easier to have control over my mind when I remember Who made me, when I remember who God is, and when I keep a couple lists going on my refrigerator (one for fun goals, one for tasks).

Give your mind something to feast on (beauty), your heart something to rest in (truth), your life something to be proud of (goodness).

This is when the goodness appears. I realize, there is much going on that is worth celebrating! Joy can exist alongside heartache, familiar can exist alongside difficulty. Progress can be made, you just have to keep your feet on the pedals and your legs moving.

To bring these juxtapositions to life, have meaningful conversations with your family and friends.

When my family gathers at the dinner table, I like to ask these three questions:

  • what was good about your day?
  • tell me, what was hard?
  • is there something you learned?

Sometimes, someone around the table needs a little help remembering. Be patient. Be quiet; remember, you are here to listen while they talk and describe their day. Children are wonderful storytellers, and they inspire me frequently. But also, my husband is a great storyteller and perspective-shifter. I really cherish his wisdom and all that he adds to our home.

Do you feel these things about the people in your home or life?

So, set your hearts and eyes on virtuous things. Give your mind something to feast on (beauty), your heart something to rest in (truth), your life something to be proud of (goodness). Ask the questions, but be sure to listen.

What do you hear?

xx

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9 Comments
Filed Under: family

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Comments

  1. Hubbs says

    June 2, 2020 at 11:53 am

    Maggie this is such a good thought. I LOVE the idea of the table being a place for listening. ❤️

    Reply
    • Maggie Whitley says

      June 2, 2020 at 1:40 pm

      It’s something, and also something for me to work on at times too.

      Reply
  2. Lacey says

    June 2, 2020 at 8:48 pm

    “REMEMBER WHO MADE YOU.” I need to think about this more often; going on my chalk board. Life is tough right now, but there is also so much to rejoice over. Big decisions need made, everything is messy right now, but focus on Jesus, beauty, my many blessings, and my family. Those are the things that really matter. :)

    Reply
    • Maggie Whitley says

      June 3, 2020 at 5:19 am

      It is the Lord’s desire that our faith carries us through the hardships. I’ll join you in prayer. Thanks for your comment, Lacey. I’m glad you shared. xx

      Reply
  3. Mom W. says

    June 3, 2020 at 3:34 pm

    Oh my goodness! This girl, these beautiful thoughts, and precious people. Thank you Jesus for blessing my life with all of them, and this lovely morsel to enjoy on my little lunch break escape in the sunshine behind my store. Looooove! Thank you M.C.W.

    Reply
    • Maggie Whitley says

      June 3, 2020 at 6:53 pm

      More than happy to bring you a little enjoyment on your lunch break ;)

      Reply
  4. Becky says

    June 3, 2020 at 8:48 pm

    The table as a place for listening!! Yes!! That’s what I needed today.

    Reply
    • Maggie Whitley says

      June 3, 2020 at 8:54 pm

      If I have good control of myself, being able to sit at the table and just listen to everyone is such a gift to me. Not only because I feel like a birdie up in the tree, listening in, but because inside my heart is saying, “yes yes yes, these are all things you already know, mama!” Being a good listening takes a lot of practice. Do you feel the same way? Happy to see your name pop up, Becky! xx

      Reply

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ABOUT MAGGIE WHITLEY DESIGNS:
Maggie Whitley weaves her writings around joy in motherhood, homemaking, faith, and simple living. She homeschools her children, enjoys a quiet room while reading, and roars with laughter over the challenges & delights of motherhood. Maggie and her husband, along with their four young children, live in metro-Detroit. She has been writing online since 2008.
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JOY in motherhood & homemaking 🧺🌿💓✨

maggiewhitley
“We are preparing to wind down for the school ye “We are preparing to wind down for the school year with just a few more weeks of intentional table lessons. We will then transition to a lighter learning schedule during the summer months. Today I am grateful for the books and resources I’ve read that have helped keep me in my own lane. (Visit my blog to see a personal favorite.)

Even now, three years in, I appreciate the reminder to stay on the path that was designed with intentional thought just for me.”

✨ see #maggiewhitleydotcom for the full post ✨
I took off my “comparison / contemplation” gla I took off my “comparison / contemplation” glasses last month and it’s been soooooo good. See also: sooooo hard (because life is never and/or). I’ve been writing more, reading more, spending more time outside. Talking to friends faces and smelling their detergent. My heart feels lighter. I’m sharing a few updates on my blog if you’d like to read? 🌾🤓blog reading & writing is a much better pace for me. You too? Link in profile.
Reflecting on this today 💓🕊 When I reflect o Reflecting on this today 💓🕊 When I reflect on the moments I’ve felt my mind spinning, my emotions swirly, it’s almost always when I’m not feasting on the word of God. Not that reading scripture is the cure for anxiety —no! Rather, it’s hard to worry when we’re worshipping.
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#womenintheword #wearethehomemakers #scripture #dailyintheword #titus2woman #healthylifestyle #mentalhealth #anxiety #anxietyawareness
Current backyard status: stunning in wonder ❄️ Current backyard status: stunning in wonder ❄️✨
A quiet night: the furnace is running, the tea is A quiet night: the furnace is running, the tea is hot, and the whisper of a page turning. ♨️☕️📖 // We are breaking from school this week, my plan is to read a lot, walk a lot, and rest a lot. How about you?

#mothersofinstagram #tea #winterreading #hygge
I fought every internal comment I could think of a I fought every internal comment I could think of and took my kiddos for a looooong walk today before dinner. ❄️✨ There’s just so much work required to raise children! I’m feeling like a tired lady. But sunshine & fresh air are good companions to keep around. 

We came home and I made “the best dinner ever”. Max specifically announced, “it’s so great you’re launching new meals to the world”. LOL— kids! 🤣👏🏻💓
How about a little Wednesday night introduction? 😘Social media sure has changed over the years and we don’t always SEE who we’re following or remember WHY we’re following certain accounts. 

So, hello! As you can gather, my name is Maggie ;) 

I started writing online (almost 13 years ago) to share the handmade products I was sewing. My shop was called Gussy Sews. ✂️👛I love the community that has grown from sewing & sharing online.

Let’s FFW to today: Zack and I live in Michigan and have four young children (2 boys & 2 girls). I slowly left the handmade industry and walked right into homemaking, homeschooling, and encouraging women through writing. 💕📝

Motherhood has been very hard on me. (And not just because of how close in age our four children are.) It’s been hard for me because I fought for years to accept that *it’s supposed to be hard*. 

I mean, how do you effectively teach another person to know and love the Lord? Bc that’s how I think of motherhood: a calling to nurture others by studying the One who nurtures me. So I gotta make the first move: study the Bible and seek Him first. As my friend Autumn reminded me, vulnerability births transformation. 

(I’ve had to be really vulnerable!)

So, yes motherhood has fully transformed me. But even more so, Christ has fully transformed me. My list of “all that He’s done for me” is off to a beautifully long start.

Something else I want you to know about me: I stalled for years before acknowledging I have anxiety and depression. It’s hard to talk about this because of course this isn’t forever “my hardship”, but rather because acknowledging this means to heal I have to work through some really difficult things. ✨

But my friend Jesus walks alongside me. He’s already done a mighty work in my heart, including helping me process my anger in healthier ways. I’ve also adopted a heart for sisterhood, mothering, and Titus 2 mentorship.

Sometimes our greatest losses are our greatest gains? That’s what I’m clinging to!

How about you? Tell me something about yourself so I can get to know you on a deeper heart level. 🖤🖤
How do you play in the winter? // We had a really How do you play in the winter? // We had a really great time visiting family in northern Michigan. On my blog I share a few ways we played outside, plus I describe a memorable childhood game ❄️☃️. Did you play it as a kiddo?
We had gotten a bit lazy with our rhythms: screens We had gotten a bit lazy with our rhythms: screens in the morning (HGTV), playtime before lessons, and not enough quiet time after lunch. This made for a really, ummm, unenjoyable learning experience. 

But today! Today we reset the rhythm, and we have had a much happier home & time learning together. 👏🏻
Visit my stories for a quick message from ME — t Visit my stories for a quick message from ME — think outside the box in terms of how you view the definition of “motherhood” 💓😘 (also: look at my little friend, she’s sooooo snuggly)
It’s another cold, winter day. ❄️Today I hop It’s another cold, winter day. ❄️Today I hope to bundle up for another family nature walk, knowing the fresh air sweeps out any & all frustration, inviting inspiration inside. ✨That’s something we all need more of.
seriously LOL: I’ve found the secret to calming seriously LOL: I’ve found the secret to calming the Laundry Beast (as a family of 6). Who wants the inside scoop? ✔️🧺👏🏻
Another batch of “fun mail” is headed out tomo Another batch of “fun mail” is headed out tomorrow :) small celebrations like this are very life giving! PS. thinking of starting a zoom book club — I need more sisterhood in my life. 👏🏻📖
The house is quiet. The heat is on. The pages are The house is quiet. The heat is on. The pages are turning. The tea is calm. 🖤☕️🧺📖
Breakfast with Buzz! If only you could see his ful Breakfast with Buzz! If only you could see his full costume and laser blaster and of course the Buzz action figure he flys around 🌟💚💙💨someone has discovered a superhero crush! #joyinmotherhood #slowmornings #surprisedbymotherhood // Landon @ 2.5yo
Today on my blog I have a list of books I hope to Today on my blog I have a list of books I hope to read this year. Plus my reading goal for the year. And a few practicals ways I fit in reading as a mama of four young children & homeschooling them. Basically, all the good stuff ☺️💓📖 #maggiewhitleydotcom #readersofinstagram #read #readmorebooks
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