Maxwell, 26 months // Natalie, 7 months
These two kids give me infinite amounts of affirmation, not to mention any wonder about whether I’m actually doing what I should be doing. It’s a wonderful feeling to be having these positive thoughts. I took these photos yesterday and they are perfect examples of their sweet, developing personalities.
We’ve been well over here. My mom visited from Michigan for about five days, and we spent all of our time either talking, walking/running, or playing with the kids. It was a great group of days, but they (of course) went by way too fast. She was here for our third book club meeting and I think I’ve convinced her to come back in 6 weeks for our next meeting? ;) I’ll let you know.
Speaking of books, I finished The Husband’s Secret which was our latest book club book (and absolutely loved it!) and recently started Where’d You Go, Bernadette?. Our next book club book is Orphan Train, if you want to “read along”. I also have The Rosie Project on my desk, but I haven’t opened it yet. I’m still working through A Million Little Ways and a personal bible study, Proverbs 31 by Life Lived Beautifully. Lots of books, which makes me happy!
And because book club wouldn’t be as fun without a couple baked goods, on Saturday I made homemade brownie’s and coffee cake to pair with fresh fruit, lemonade and coffee.
I’m slowly (but surely!) working through a Big Project, which is a huge comfort to me. Never could I have imagined how different life is with two babes, including the concept of personal time, completing a full thought (before I forget it), inconsistent sleep patterns, and/or accomplishing goals. But like I said, I’m getting there and it feels soooooo good. I’m also thankful I’m not the first woman to become a mama, that many have gone before me and fully know grace.
Recently I shared on Instagram how well the kids are sleeping, considering they share a bedroom. I received a lot of feedback, mostly wanting to know how we sleep trained our kids and room-sharing advice. And then would you believe a few days later Maxwell decided he wants to take a 1 hour nap instead of his usual 2+ hours? Oh man. Some days I have the energy to get him to fall asleep again, other days I don’t/can’t (especially if I’m already working on a project). Yesterday we met our friends at the park, which was such a life savor. We arrived back home just in time for dinner and baths. And now I’m searching for your advice: how do I get Maxwell to sleep longer? (He’s almost 27 months.) Even once our children are done sleeping at naptime I still want them to have quiet time in their bedrooms.
What is going on in your life? What are you reading, baking, or talking about with your girlfriends? Leave a comment and let me know…
I am a huge believer in quiet time! My two little guys (22 mo. & 3 mo.) nap, but the three big kids (6, 5, and 4) have “rest time” every day for an hour and a half. And it is amazing how important it is, for me obviously, but also for them! Even though they don’t sleep, they definitely get cranky if they miss it for some reason. Kids can go through phases where they sleep less, so it could be that Maxwell will start sleeping longer again soon, or it could be that he just needs less sleep now.
I sleep-trained all of my kids, too, and it has worked great for us, but another thing I use that has been a life-changer is the Tot Clock: http://www.amazon.com/My-Tot-Clock-New-Improved/dp/B00NC10YFA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1433251602&sr=8-1&keywords=tot+clock
I started using it two years ago, when I was trying to get my kids to sleep later in the morning (they were up really early, like 5 some days), and it was summer, so I couldn’t just tell them, “You can get up when it’s light out.” It took a couple of weeks to train them to use it well, but it has been amazing! They started sleeping in later, and even when they woke up, they learned to stay in their bed until wake-up time. It’s easy enough that my then-two-year-old could understand how it worked. We have used it for nap time, too, and we also use it for rest time, so they know when they can get up. Maybe you could use something like this for nap time; you could set the clock for a certain time, and if he wakes up before it’s time to get up, he could play quietly on his bed (or somewhere else) until wake-up time?
Our kids share a bedroom so I’m always on the lookout for products and routines that would work well our living space. I’ve seen this sort of idea before and it seems really great. Thanks for the link! xo
Yes! Our four oldest kids share a bedroom, and this works great! In fact, you guys remind me of our family a few years ago – we had a one bedroom apartment until after our third baby was born. I know lots of people probably thought we were a little crazy to stay in that small space, but it worked for us and we were happy with it! In fact, we still have a small space (just 940 square feet), and we love it!
Less to clean and less places to look for the kids, right? ;)
Love the photos!! :)
http://en.emoi-emoi.com/
At about the same age my son suddenly went from taking a 3 hour nap to no nap at all. I just stayed consistent and made him stay in his room from at least an hour. Some days he would eventually fall asleep, but after about a month to a month and a half he was back to napping for 2 hours. I basically just told him he needed to stay in his room until I can to get him. Having 2 kids in the same room, would definitely complicate matters so I don’t really have any advice on that.
You are so blessed to be where you are. I also consider myself blessed to have my son, but lately I’m struggling in my relationship with God a bit and feeling lost in my purpose. We just lost our daughter at 34 weeks. I carried her until then knowing that she would die. We not only lost our very much wanted daughter, but now the future of our family may be complicated. Autopsy results and further genetic tests could reveal a autosomal recessive disorder, meaning that every child we have would have a 25% chance of having the same diagnosis. Because it would be such a rare genetic disorder, they may not even be able to determine which genetic mutation caused it. I imagined myself having 3-4 children. I loved being pregnant with my son and desperately want another baby.
Hi Cara! I think we’ve turned a corner with Mr. Max, which is awesome!
Have you heard of Angie Smith? She also carried a daughter knowing she would most likely not live outside her womb. Angie wrote a book (she’s also a believer) called I Will Carry You. I’ve read it personally and have heard it resonated well with many other women in you and Angie’s situation. I will be praying for you and your future family. Will you let me know if you decide to read the book? ♥
I loved “The Husband’s Secret” and just finished “Station Eleven.” It was different but once I got into it, I couldn’t put it down. I haven’t read “Where’d You Go, Bernadette” and keep reading mixed reviews on it. I did love “What Alice Forgot” though – soo good! My book club also read “The Orphan Train” a few months ago.
My almost 2 year old still takes a 2-3 hour nap every afternoon. I’m still working on my 5 month old. Some days she takes two 2 hour naps and a 1 hour evening nap, some days it’s 45 minute naps…I just don’t know. Thankfully the Lord has worked on my heart (He still has a lot of work to do) so that I’m not as upset or bitter when she does wake up “early” as I was with my son. For me, motherhood is so much about being flexible and not adhering to what I want or think I deserve.
Thanks for your posts – I rarely comment but always love reading your words!
Hey Kate! I am about half way through Where’d You Go, Bernadette and am looooving it. Maybe borrow it from your library and give it a whirl? I bet you’ll enjoy it :)
hi!! you are so precious. i see myself 10 years (or so) ago in you SO much. i just love how much you love your life. i have 6 kids…ages 13-4 and still love my life. keep loving it and enjoying every minute…you’re investment will multiply!!
naps. quiet time. YES. you are so wise to think that you still want that even if they aren’t “sleeping”. my older kids are in school…but even on the weekends, still, we often have “quiet time” on sunday afternoon. and, the kids that aren’t in school DEFINITELY have quiet time for 2 hours in the afternoon during the week so i can be sitting here writing you ;-) (and lots of other things!) we just never gave it up. and we always expected it of them. so they do it. now that they don’t SLEEP, they read. or play quietly. expectations are set, and enforced. and i truly believe that it’s GOOD for all of us!!
YES! :) and I couldn’t agree more. It’s important we have enough margin in our lives, for our entire family. I’m over with the “rush, rush, rush” mentality and have even found myself holding back from saying, “hurry up!” to Max. Who cares, really? Me hurrying him is crushing his spirit and is stealing an opportunity for me to see live through his little eyes. I’m sure you can relate (and agree) :)
I’m currently reading The Fringe Hours and The Husbands Secret, loving both!!!! Yes, my kids are homeschooled (ages 2,5 and 8) and they all have quiet time every single day!!
My kids are 6 and 7 (8 in a few weeks) and they’ve had quiet time for 2.5 hours/day since they gave up napping. Since he’s over 2, he *could* be giving up his nap slowly but surely. My guy gave up his just before 2 1/2 years old, though that felt really early. My daughter slept great and napped great until about 3 1/2 and her giving up her nap was a struggle (she was sooo tired by about 6PM but couldn’t let her sleep until about 7:30 to get a full, great night’s sleep for everyone), but we got there.
I do think you HAVE to train them when they’re so little to stay in their rooms. Aside from going to the bathroom, my kids are expected to be obedient to the rules (staying in room, playing quietly). I’m going to go out on a limb here with (probably) a fairly unpopular way to train, but we spank when our kids are a) disobedient or b) disrespectful and they are knowingly doing it (not just childishness or ignorance). You can’t give a kid a time-out when you’re trying to train them for quiet time, because they will feel that the quiet time (separation from parent, etc.) is a punishment when it is NOT. It takes a good solid amount of time, but you will reap YEARS of benefits of quiet time. My kids like it, are bursting with projects and creativity during their independent ‘rest time’, and have read and listened to sooo many excellent books and audio books. Yes, training a child is not often enjoyable, but it’s diligence and perseverance and most of all consistency and it has rewards for the entire family! I’m not about to tell someone else how to discipline their kids, but an external punishment for disobedience is quick, to the point, and then everyone can get on with their lives, and kids realize they do not rule the household. Quiet time is precious to me and I enjoy my kids (we homeschool, so not only is it precious to me, it is NECESSARY for my sanity), and although it can be challenging and draining to implement with toddlers, it is so Doable and you will be so happy you did!
Sarah M
What time is M’s bedtime? My daughter is around the same age and she sleeps from 7PM until 6:30AM-ish, but we let her hang out in her crib until 7AM. She’ll happily sing and chat until then….she quite enjoys that time.
Our bedtime routine starts at 6:30PM and consists of a bath, PJs, brushing teeth, stories and songs with lights out at 7PM. We give our daughter some stuffies and a few board books in her crib, as she needs that wind down time (I figure I need a book to fall asleep to, why wouldn’t she?) Usually by 7:30/7:45PM, she’s in dreamland.
Nap time is 12-2PM each day. Her nap time is more structured because of daycare, but it seems to work. She’ll eat an earlier lunch (around 11:15AM) to account for the earlier nap. Some days she wakes at 1:30PM, but will hang out in her crib quietly until 2PM.
When she goes through a period of rough sleep, we actually bump her bedtime up to 6:30PM. Lack of sleep causes her to get into an overtired rut, which doesn’t help her get more rest…..so early to bed it is. Usually within a few nights, she’s back to her usual routine, but the broken sleep leading up to that is hard.
One thing I’ve learned is that “this too shall pass”……usually my daughter is going through a phase or fighting the early signs of illness when her sleep goes awry.
Hopefully Maxwell will be back to his usual routine very soon. Quiet time is so important for everyone, including mama!
He goes to bed around 8:30/8:45. We tried moving it up but he was getting out of bed about 5x before falling asleep, which wasn’t restful for either of us! I think we have his sleep schedule back on track. Thank you for sharing your perspective and encouragement ♥!
my daughter is only 19 months and she already only naps about 1.5-2 hrs a day. dropped her second nap a couple months ago. she’s never been a great napper (never taken longer than a 2 hr nap, and usually is shorter than that) so i don’t even know what it’s like to have her sleep for so long! i wish!! haha. i too wonder what i could do to help her sleep longer but it doesn’t seem to be any sort of phase – this is just where she’s at now. she generally sleeps 730pm-6 or 630am, with that one nap during the day. the afternoons can get loooong ;) i think keeping the quiet time once she’s outgrown her napping is important too, and i plan to keep it. sorry, no real advice here, as i’m mostly in the same boat you are. hopefully it all works out for us both!
I’m reading the Fringe Hours currently and really loving it. It has inspired me to go ahead and start those DIY projects I’ve been craving! My goal is to get to spray painting some frames for a gallery wall today during my kiddos’ naptime.
I just made apple pie slow cooker oatmeal last night, so we’ll see how it comes together in about 15 minutes when the littles get up and are ravenous. ;)
I LOVED THAT BOOK!
Re: sleep- We have had much success with The Sleep Lady’s methods- you can find her on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/TheSleepLady) and I highly recommend her book. My 3 1/2 year old currently sleeps from ~8:30 pm (routine starts at 7:45ish) until 7am, when his wake-up light comes on and naps from ~1:15pm until 4:30pm (ideally, 10.5 at night and 1.5 nap for 3 y/o’s). Of course, I’m never really sure exactly how many hours he is asleep for but you get the idea!
It has been a ton of hard work but paid off. His naps have fluctuated a lot but I hung in there, mostly because he is much happier and more pleasant when he sleeps well. At this point, I know his naps are an anomaly and will probably be coming to an end shortly but I’ll take it while I can get it. He owes me ;)