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You are here: Home / family / I’ve stopped using the “S” word.

I’ve stopped using the “S” word.

September 11, 2013 · 37 Comments
Filed Under: family, Gussy, inspiration

I had a major, MAJOR realization about something that’s been a big part of my life, and it started with spilling on my tank top last week :)

All I was trying to do was finish my milk & cookies before getting Max up from his afternoon nap. OK fine, I was really devouring an extra cookie [it was an Oreo, if you must know], then gulping the last drop of milk in my glass, when the spill happened. Please tell me I’m not alone in doing this…?

I believe becoming a mother has helped me better prepare for this new phase in life, and ultimately this post.

Since Maxwell was born I have humbly slowed down in so many areas, personal and work included. Interestingly, I’ve also had a few things start tugging on my heart at about the same time, but it’s been really hard for me to pinpoint “why”.

bauer-gussy-sews

^ my Bauer-boy, who’s been a part of our family for almost 3 years now

Becoming a mother changes you, simply put. And I like to think it’s changed me for the better. It’s heightened my relationship with our parents, it’s made my heart even more soft for children, it’s helped me to pause a bit more often and just be.

To be totally black & white, it’s helped me stop using the “S” word: schedule.

And not only have I stopped using it but I’ve stopped obsessing over it. I’ve stopped trying to keep to the pre-baby work schedule I was used to having. Holding tight to unrealistic expectations has kept me from living this new phase of mamahood; it was keeping me from what God is trying to teach me.

But the heart of the problem is this: keeping to a rigid schedule was interfering with my creativity and the vision of Gussy Sews.

It’s been easy to feel distracted, detached and doubtful. It’s been a hard transition living in Los Angeles. I’m a midwest girl at heart; “the girl next door” [thank you, Kate]. I love to chat and spend time cultivating relationships. That silly “S” word seemed to be getting in the way, all the darn time!

To go even deeper, I want my business to be free of negative things — for however many life chapters it takes.

[Are you still here? You haven’t closed this tab, have you?]

It feels risky [maybe even scary?] to let go of my schedule, but it feels more right than wrong, so I’m going with it…

I used to be able to have specific work tasks that I knew I could accomplish each day, week and month. Now? Now I work in 2-hour increments, not 10-hour increments. Now I am relishing in the “right now” of life, instead of looking so far ahead I’m missing what’s staring back at me.

There’s been so much freedom in this realization, too.

That “S” word? Buh-bye.

product-samples-gussy-sews

^ new product samples, a preview of our upcoming Fall Collection

 The other day I mentioned a shop update I’ve been working on and I teased about our Fall collection that will be launching soon. Don’t worry, the collection is still launching, but I’ve decided to break it down into much more manageable updates. Instead of having a couple dozen new products launch all at once, I’m now going to release them in smaller batches — in between spilling on my tank top, in between the quiet moments where God is teaching me, in between found grace.

Smaller, more frequent even?, updates are a more organic process for Gussy Sews, so I’m very much looking forward to this change.

I LOVE being a Handmade Maker.

And because I love it…

Because of the relationships formed…

Because of the trade I’ve truly loved learning the last 5 years…

Because of the places we’ve traveled to thanks to this blog…

Because this community that has supported my family through so much — quitting my day job, sharing blog/business tips, cross-country moves, hiring more help, in praying for a baby and then announcing the birth of our son…

Because I’ve seen God bless our family through this business I know being a Handmade Maker is what He’s calling me to be.

But at the same time, I can’t have a fuzzy focus. And up until last week when I spilled on myself, I’m afraid my focus was very fuzzy.

The purpose of Gussy Sews is to encourage you to take risks, to chase your dreams, to go on adventures, to support handmade and share in life together. Gussy Sews has inspired me just as much as it’s inspired you, I promise :)

So if you’re a blogger or a Handmade Maker, if you’re a mama, a wife, a friend, a sister — whatever wonderful title you carry — I want to encourage you to stop using the “S” word, too.

I’m praying you’ll continue to join me in this next chapter for Gussy Sews.

product-samples-gussy-sews

^ another peek into our Fall Collection: polka dots + chambray = L O V E

HERE’S WHAT I KNOW:

I’m committed to stop making myself stick to a schedule that doesn’t work for me right now, to let go of unrealistic expectations.

I’m committed to stop looking at what’s happening up ahead, because I’ve been missing out on the Right Now.

If you let go of your schedule, I promise you you’ll be able to accomplish so much more.

All you have to do is set yourself free…

xo

 

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37 Comments
Filed Under: family, Gussy, inspiration

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Comments

  1. Cindy says

    September 11, 2013 at 3:34 am

    Beautifully said Maggie :) I have been in your shoes. With mega-moves, now 3 boys (and their activities) and quitting a full time job, it really does get crazy fuzzy and often over scheduled. But I too have learned to slow things down, live each day by enjoying my family and my gift of being a Handmade Maker. I am in a very happy place now as well. Congrats to you <3

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 10:43 pm

      @Cindy, Thank you Cindy, for the encouragement :)

      Reply
  2. Renae says

    September 11, 2013 at 4:01 am

    “I’m committed to stop looking at what’s happening up ahead, because I’ve been missing out on the Right Now.”

    This. My life needs this. I feel like I spend a lot of time looking to the future. And while the future is exciting, it almost feels as if I’m wishing away the moments that are happening RIGHT NOW. Oh, my heart needed this today. Thank you for this inspiring post!

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 10:43 pm

      @Renae, There’s nothing that makes me feel more anxious that the thought of missing out on the Right Now. xoxo

      Reply
  3. Jenna lou says

    September 11, 2013 at 4:50 am

    This is something I’m struggle ing with as I plan (“s”‘s ugly sister) for the birth of our first this winter. The unknown is scaring me, yet I know I will need to scale back in some form. I’m grateful that you are being so transparent and real about the difficulties (and also the joys). I don’t know that I will be able to do it myself, but I love the idea of being schedule free. Thanks for being such an encouragement.

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 10:48 pm

      @Jenna lou, I do keep to a tiny schedule, but it’s very flexible and it allows me to breathe. I’m not sure I could ever go completely schedule-free (could anyone???). One thing that really caught me off guard is how long it took me to feel like myself, after Maxwell was born. It took me about 3 months. And even then, I didn’t feel *completely* like myself. He’s 6 months old now and the fuzziness is starting to settle down a bit, which is so wonderful. I can attest though, staying calm, with whatever parenthood throws our way, has helped us feel at peace. Zack and I don’t get frantic over messy diapers, extended/shortened naps, the overflowing laundry basket. We are calm so Maxwell is calm. But I will share this… having a backup diaper bag that stays in the car ALWAYS has been a lifesaver a time or two ;D We keep blankets, burp cloths, wipes, a paci, diapers, a couple outfits, and nursing pads for me in there. There have been a few times I’ve walked out the door without our diaper bag… which is kinda funny…! :)

      Reply
  4. Shannon says

    September 11, 2013 at 5:22 am

    Very nicely said, Gussy. You have learned this early in your motherhood journey. I have twins that just turned 14 yesterday. I still struggle to achieve the perfect balance without being attached to a schedule. As your son grows, your time will also evolve. I can tell that you are enjoying the ride! : )

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 10:59 pm

      @Shannon, ♥ thank you, Shannon!

      Reply
  5. Becca says

    September 11, 2013 at 5:46 am

    Maggie this is such a great revelation from The Lord. When we have kids it’s when we start to realize just how BIG God is and how small & insignificant we are along with all our “stuff”. These are precious times! Xoxo

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 11:01 pm

      @Becca, I needed to realize it’s OK for me to change since becoming a mother… like I’ve been waiting for that kind of affirmation. What a relief to have heard God speak to me…

      Reply
  6. Emily says

    September 11, 2013 at 6:37 am

    AMEN! It’s so funny isn’t it how us Midwest girls come to the challenge of that “busy schedule” tack it unto to our shoulders and say, “You wanna see something? I can do it better then you can!!” Because we have such great work ethic and God has instilled that in our hearts I think we can get off course and get too busy and miss even His direction sometimes. I understand you completely. I am finally realizing a handmade career myself and when I look at where I have to go to get where I have to be it worries me that I am going to lose out on alot of things because of the busy-ness. Thanks for reminding me it’s in the here and now and not the beyond where I can’t see. God’s called us to one day at a time. He will fullfill the visions He placed in our heart for the later/future. We just have to settle on the now.

    Thanks Gussy! ;-)

    Emme

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 11:02 pm

      @Emily, I love everything you wrote. Thank you for taking the time to type it out. ♥

      Reply
  7. Kaytie says

    September 11, 2013 at 7:16 am

    Thank you so much for posting this. It really struck a cord with my this morning (as my baby naps and I run around like a crazy person trying to get things accomplished). I know in my heart that ‘letting go’ is what needs to happen but, well you know, it’s just SO hard. Thanks for being the reminder I needed today. xo

    Reply
  8. Stephanie says

    September 11, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Soon after the birth of my son (almost 8 months ago. what?!), I realized I needed to throw a schedule out the window. It’s been a little easier to do so since I’m now a SAHM, but sometimes it still has its challenges. It’s crazy how these tiny little people can take over our lives! But it’s such a blessing. :)

    Reply
  9. Ebony Jordan says

    September 11, 2013 at 9:04 am

    Way to go Maggie! As usual I always learn something valuable from you and your journey. I am learning this lesson now myself. My son is almost 3 and there are things that I am sure I don’t remember from when he was a newborn because I was too worried about other silly things. I sometimes feel guilty and I do not want that to happen again. So I cherish every moment and am trying to align my lifestyle with my new found focus in life. Keep your head up because you are so inspiring!

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 11:03 pm

      @Ebony Jordan, XOXOXO :)

      Reply
  10. Sherry says

    September 11, 2013 at 10:00 am

    I love reading your post. They are so encouraging and beautifully written!

    Reply
  11. linda (burlap+blue) says

    September 11, 2013 at 10:15 am

    You hit the nail on the head with this post….letting go of unrealistic expectations? That should be my motto. This is such a timely reminder of what’s important. Thank you! xoxo

    Reply
  12. Midwest Magnolia - Melissa Lewis says

    September 11, 2013 at 10:47 am

    It’s so true. I think Motherhood just totally helps you see life the way it’s intended to be lived. Being a mom just makes you slow down and causes you to re-focus and enjoy those “little” things more. I love your words here. Thank you for sharing. ~Melissa

    Reply
  13. Tara E says

    September 11, 2013 at 11:21 am

    so true!! just had baby #2 in July, and my schedule has gone out the window! with my first child, it was doable… but adding the 2nd into the mix, just makes me feel like i can hardly get things accomplished. i am struggling to get stuff made for the shop, but realize that my babies come first! i’ve just had to lengthen the production time and know that the kind of customers that are willing to put up with that, are the ones that i want anyways. i’ve just had to shift my thinking and continually remember that i am called to be a mother and that is my most important job. while i love my other work (and do need something of my own to keep my sanity!), this stage will pass too quickly so i have to try to slow down and enjoy it.

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 11:04 pm

      @Tara E, I used to fear not keeping to a schedule… how would that affect our family if I couldn’t produce a work schedule the same way as before? But then I realized God is the one who gave all of this to me… certainly He will provide for us :) xo

      Reply
  14. annie says

    September 11, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    way to go girl. this is so great! proud of you! now that i’ll be able to be a stay at home mom, come Nov 4- i hope that the schedule goes out the window too! seems we have a lot more fun when the schedule is gone!

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 11:05 pm

      @annie, WHAT?! wooo to the hoo that’s so exciting!!! :D

      Reply
  15. Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says

    September 11, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    Dearest Maggie, This is so beautifully written. I can hear your voice saying these words. I love you to pieces!

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 11:08 pm

      @Kate @ Songs Kate Sang, I’ve finally exhaled! Thank you, thank you, thank you ♥

      Reply
  16. Becky Smith says

    September 11, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    Your words have inspired me. I’ll share this with you in turn:
    “6 critical life messages-
    I believe in you
    I trust you
    I know you can handle this
    You are listened to.
    You are cared for.
    You are very important to me.”
    (Barbara Colorosso).
    When I saw this on my friends fridge, I had an aha moment. I’ve been having a lot of them lately. Sounds like you are also. Enjoy.

    Reply
  17. Katy (lil' alice) says

    September 12, 2013 at 6:40 am

    Motherhood & work is a fragile balance. I was the stay at home Mom until my youngest went to first grade. My kids were older when I started my Indie Biz. It’s still a balance between school work, sports, husband, dinner, my job outside the home etc. I’m a planner & I have to know what is ahead of me for the week.

    I learned early on in motherhood that I don’t overbook & over plan! I don’t run the roads with girlfriends weekly, my kids are not in 3 sports at time time (1 each & zero during the summer). I have learned to live intentionally & live life on purpose. I don’t want it to slip by me with my head stuck to a sewing machine. I love to sew, it’s my creative outlet, but my lil’ family is more important!

    I’m proud of you for releasing the pressure that lies on your shoulder. Finding the balance early on will keep your feet on the ground & keep your focus on your lil’ family!

    Reply
  18. Nicole says

    September 12, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    Yes! When I first started my handmade shop, my desire and tendency was to work, work, work all the time. Partly because I wanted to grow my shop, and partly because I love what I do! But with the title of “Big Sister” (my youngest sibling is 23 years younger than me) I couldn’t let my self-proclaimed schedule get in the way of other things I needed to do. So while I now don’t have as much time to devout to the shop as I’d like, I think my time is well spent doing things far more important.

    Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us! =)

    Reply
  19. Julie {CalleLillyCafe} says

    September 12, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    Oh do I wish I could let go! For my family: if it’s not written on our calendar/or my Mac, it doesn’t get done! lol Right now I do have a small handmade business and bcuz I do not have the hours needed to make it BOOM, I have to settle for any time I have free to contribute to it. This makes me sad. My 3 girls at home w/school & a club soccer schedule with all 3 and the teen on a traveling team as well, leaves us next to zero time. Add in all the dr appts as well. Every day is a soccer day. It’s crazy but we love it! I love social media and I’m sure if you peek around you’ll see me! I’ve acquired a contract job as a result w/a large scrapbkg co. as well. this makes me happy bcuz I love to scrap, Project Life, take lots of photos & make cards too! I love all things crafty and…. I’ve been a fan of yours for yrs. You’ve been such an inspiration. I only hope one day I can do the same. God bless and best wishes. xo

    Reply
  20. Sorrelle says

    September 12, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    Are you handmade still? I thought I read that you had a team,perhaps last fall when you did scarves? So if you have a team sewing is that still considered handmade? I believed handmade mean only designed, cut, and sewn by you. Not a team.
    If you do have a team wouldn’t you be considered a designer like any other designer who has a team of sewers, cutters, ect. That would mean all bags handmade from yours to Chanel.
    I’m really curious about “hand makers” with teams. It doesn’t have the “made by me” feel that is implied.
    Please help looking for clarity.

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      September 15, 2013 at 11:12 pm

      @Sorrelle, We are! And yes, I do have an amazing team that helps me with so so much, but I still consider that handmade. Each item is made by one person, one by one. Our ruffles are hand ruffled with a sewing machine — we don’t use a ruffle foot; each ruffle is unique and gorgeous! If I didn’t have help with Gussy Sews I wouldn’t continue to have a shop, there’s only so much I can do each day, especially now that I have a baby boy at home with me. I’m so blessed to have my team. xoxo

      Reply
  21. Sorrelle says

    September 12, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    My comment was sent with respect to you and your brand. You make lovely items. 😊

    Reply
  22. Alesha says

    September 16, 2013 at 7:34 am

    Wow! I needed this right now. Thank you and way to go!
    Alesha <3

    Reply
  23. Baurzhan says

    March 18, 2014 at 11:24 pm

    This douche bag loves his iaelgll bretheren because hes a itiaen with the world and we ought to be ashamed of ourselves I got news for you Asswipe get your asswiping ass back to the craphole exactly where you came from with all of your iaelgll beaners

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. A celebration of 6 months with Maxwell. says:
    September 19, 2013 at 3:00 am

    […] born I never anticipated needing to have a c-section. I think that was our first experience with tossing schedules out the window. But even though I didn’t anticipate it, it gave me five solid, wonderful weeks of bonding […]

    Reply
  2. Link Hype 9-20-13 says:
    September 20, 2013 at 7:00 am

    […] all feeling the hustle and the bustle but Maggie of Gussy Sews wrote a very honest post about why I’ve Stopped Using the ‘S’ Word in order to have a more enjoyable balance of work and […]

    Reply
  3. What happens during the unexpected. says:
    September 23, 2013 at 3:00 am

    […] I had plans to leave early to run a few errands before meeting up with friends, but once Max feel asleep I was more than happy to stay on the couch and snuggle him. Errands can wait; my focus is on the unexpected. […]

    Reply

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ABOUT MAGGIE WHITLEY DESIGNS:
Maggie Whitley weaves her writings around joy in motherhood, homemaking, faith, and simple living. She homeschools her children, enjoys a quiet room while reading, and roars with laughter over the challenges & delights of motherhood. Maggie and her husband, along with their four young children, live in metro-Detroit. She has been writing online since 2008.
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recent posts:

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JOY in motherhood & homemaking 🧺🌿💓✨

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What are you reading this year? Currently?

How many books are you planning to read? What’s your goal?

I’ll share what’s on my list for 2021 soon as I received some nice titles at Christmas. 📖✨🤍
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One song in particular comes to mind:

“We step into Freedom. 
We step into all you have for us.” -Bethel Music & Jenn Johnson

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It’s the season of perpetual hope. 🎄✨📖Of It’s the season of perpetual hope. 🎄✨📖Of books that shape our minds, of anticipation, of creative projects that mar our kiddos clothing (but morph our memories into beauty). Oh right! There are cookies cooling on the counter — gotta go! ✌🏻
Keeping my hands busy (making wooden bead garland Keeping my hands busy (making wooden bead garland for our tree; link posted to Stories) and my mind inspired (watching HGTV). I really enjoy the quiet of the evening after a full, rich day. God is so kind to give this to me today. What have you received today? 🎄💫📿
This guy is my steady; my Zack. This is a latergra This guy is my steady; my Zack. This is a latergram from October, from one of our many fall adventures with the kids. We had so many fun day trips, I don’t even remember where this was taken 👏🏻⭐️. I’m gonna guess Cranbrook Gardens.
This morning I sat on the front porch and read my This morning I sat on the front porch and read my book & drank coffee. The birds were with me, nearly a hundred of them. Fluttering from rooftop to treetop to hiding inside the bushes. So beautiful and calm. Mother culture... the path to joy in motherhood & homemaking.
Well kiddos, we had a great summer together! 🥳👏🏻🛴⛱🍦🤸🏼‍♀️🎨🎹🏊🏻‍♂️🧺🎠📚📺🍿🌿🌷☀️🚲

Thanks for coming along with me to the pool, nature trails, the park, hosting friends in our backyard, reading adventures, popcorn & movie night, art, planting flowers, planting a garden, bike rides, neighborhood walks, lake swimming, and supplying the ice cream truck w/ roughly $84 this summer. 

I loved our time together! 🥰🧒🏼👩🏻👧🏼🧒🏻

And the great news is this: we have autumn to enjoy together, too! 👏🏻🌾🍃🍂 so thankful.
Even if you don’t have students learning at home Even if you don’t have students learning at home, these ten “field trip” ideas will give your day a boost. 

When your mind feels foggy, step outside. When your home feels too small or too big, step outside. When the bickering is loud or your internal criticism is high, step outside. 

Give yourself (and your family) the joy of an adventure away from the home. 

🌾Visit my blog for the full post, link in profile or #maggiewhitleydotcom
It’s come to my realization there’s plenty of It’s come to my realization there’s plenty of time these days to craft a letter when I wash dishes, take my kids on a walk, or take care of our garden. All that silence, it makes my internal monologue even louder 🤣. 

Many times we are out & about in the neighborhood and I think, “oh the flowers surrounding your porch are lovely!” Or, “wow” (to the elderly man) “you have such a great smile, thanks for sharing it with us!” Wouldn’t it be great to jot that down in a card and send it through the mail as well?

We are always in need of community & kind words! 🌷💬

I remember many years ago, when nearly pregnant with another baby and our personal finances were THE PITS, my best friend came over with $500 cash. Just to bless us. She also included a personal note. Of course, I’ve always known how special personal notes are, but this card really meant so much.

And so I’ve decided as the year-end nears: wouldn’t it be nice to send a letter a week for the final 20 weeks we have left in 2020. Me thinks so 🙂. 

Community & kind words: I’m coming for you!

PS. wanna join me in sending 20 cards by Dec. 31?
🖤working on our school room, mid-process update 🖤working on our school room, mid-process update! this wall is inspired by @mygrandparentschair 👏🏻 

I saw her feature in a recent issue of “Better Homes & Gardens” and I was all 🤩🤩over her foyer. I’m using 1/2” black masking tape (mistake-making friendly) instead of paint, also renter friendly. 

Working on this project has been so good for my mental health. Doing > worrying.
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devotionals written by Maggie:

the (in)courage Devotional Bible:
Proverbs 14:1 and Lamentations 5
31 Days of Prayer for the Dreamer and Doer:
on Simplicity

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