Monday was a hard, hard day for me as a mama. I think we played too hard over the weekend because our house was filled with grumps — from all of us. Minus Zack of course, he was able to escape ;) No one napped well on Monday; everyone felt antsy. We took three walks, and Bauer came on two of them! We played outside. Multiple times. We sat outside in the California sun. We sang songs, read books, and I prayed again + again for the blanket of a nap to drape over us. I held Max tightly as I walked the floors; back and forth we walked. Nothing seemed to work, and nearly all day I felt frustrated. Our rhythm was off and I felt defeated. Being a mama is a gift. It’s the best gift I’ve even been given, so I try not to dwell on our hard days.
But, Monday was hard. And my goodness, when hard days show up on our stoop — some time in the night when we’re all sound asleep, they are HARD to handle the next day. I was so thankful Monday night when Zack walked through the front door. Even Bauer was anticipating his arrival ;)
Instead of trying to work throughout the day, like I’m sometimes able to, I decided to take it easy on myself: no working until nighttime. And even then, no working unless I felt rested and able.
That’s kinda been my thing lately, especially because nothing of quality comes out of me when I’m not feeling rested. I’m learning to work fast when sparks of creativity hit and to give myself more grace when they don’t. I’m in no rush to work, especially if the work I’m going to output is going to be poor. But being able to go with the flow, to problem solve when Max needs something from me — these things are critical to enjoying life and my new role as a mama.
So, when those hard days show up on our stoop I’m able to welcome them in.
Something else I’ve learned?
Hard days never stay for too long, but when they come into my home I know to slow down so they can pass.