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Maggie Whitley

joy in motherhood, homemaking, faith & simple living

You are here: Home / blog & handmade advice / 31 days / {Handmade Business in 31 Days — Day 22, Having grace towards others.}

{Handmade Business in 31 Days — Day 22, Having grace towards others.}

October 22, 2012 · 11 Comments
Filed Under: 31 days, blog & handmade advice

Day 22// Over the weekend I received a Facebook message from a blog reader. She had a question about how to respond to a situation involving someone copying her work. At the end of her message to me she concluded,

One more thing, total shift of gears — I am always so impressed by the way you handle (or don’t handle) people who feel the need to question/criticize you over petty things. (Like drinking coffee [while pregnant], for example.) … Anyway, I have observed your graciousness time and time again and just want to encourage you that your light is shining.

I thought it would be good to touch on knowing how to have grace towards others during fussy situations {and what I’ve learned}, because there are times when we need to tell ourselves “no!” to hitting the reply button. Instead we need to practice giving more grace to our neighbor. And sometimes grace comes out a bit quieter — not speaking audibly but instead speaking through our actions.

A few times this season I’ve decided to wait something out. I told myself I wouldn’t take any immediate action, instead it would be wise to sit back + think about the big picture. And to be honest, I think waiting — being able to separate the emotions from the circumstance, has been life-changing.

How does this translate to you as a Handmade Maker? Here are a few examples of when to give more grace:

  • when someone is unhappy with their order
  • when someone disagrees with a blog post or status update you wrote
  • when someone thinks you’re running your business wrong {prices too high/low, frequency of shop updates, your activity on FB or Twitter, etc.}

It’s important to take the time to know how you’ll address situations where grace-giving is needed. Are you going to hoard grace, or are you going hand it out? And maybe you’re thinking, “GRACE, are you kidding me? I am so offended!” or, “But I didn’t do anything wrong, and our policies exist for a reason!” True — maybe you were offended and maybe your policies are to protect you, but you know what? I’ve been embarrassed in the past over things I’ve handled incorrectly, but there have been a few fussy situations recently where I’ve chosen to handle my actions differently and I’m telling you, it not only stopped any future fuss but it nipped at any unnecessary emotions. I’m not saying you should be walked over, but what I am saying is you need to set standards for how you will, 1.) run your handmade business and, 2.) treat others.

These two things definitely go hand in hand.

The way you respond to others — or don’t respond, if that’s truly the best solution, will be remembered 100x over the situation you were making a fuss over ~ mmhmm.

Keep your eye out for “I like to be fussy”-producers, luring you to say or do something to tarnish your reputation. When they come into your life be careful in how you respond. And no matter how absurd someone’s demand is, don’t tweet about how absurd it is. If a business situation or comment deeply + truly hurts your feelings, take your moment to be silent and consider how you will respond. Even if your “moment” is two days.

Give grace, and join me in practicing it?

Homework// Think about the way you handle fussy situations, what have you learned from them? What have other peoples actions/responses taught you about giving grace?

view all Handmade Business posts right here, yeow!

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11 Comments
Filed Under: 31 days, blog & handmade advice

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Comments

  1. Emily says

    October 22, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    My first response to a fussy situation is to be hurt and upset, often losing sleep over it. I’m learning that sitting back and giving it time before responding can make a huge difference, as long as I truly let it go while I’m sitting back, and not dwelling on it. In some situations, a response really isn’t even needed or helpful, but in others, eventually you do have to confront the person about their unkind behavior. I appreciate the example you set for all of us Maggie!

    Reply
    • Sasha says

      October 22, 2012 at 4:48 pm

      @Emily,
      I too spend an awful lot of trouble worrying about what others think. My medical problems for a long time made me feel like I needed to act a certain way to look sick. I finally realized to forget other people’s comments. I don’t look sick.

      Reply
  2. Ashley Urke | Domestic Fashionista says

    October 22, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    I completely agree with the reader’s email. Your grace and joyful attitude is so admirable. I imagine you are human and get upset but by shedding grace to others your are not only keeping it from getting to you but you are building a reputation as a respectable business owner. I think you are amazing and this advice is so encouraging. I am just a blogger and so many of these things relate to dealing with people online in general. You are one wise girl Gussy! xo

    Reply
  3. caroline {Sew Caroline} says

    October 22, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    i just love you. we ALL need grace.. thanks for the reminder :)

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      October 22, 2012 at 6:38 pm

      @caroline {Sew Caroline}, ((hugs))

      Reply
  4. Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says

    October 22, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    Maggie, this is just one of the reasons I love you. You truly have a wisdom and kindness that is precious. Thank you so much for your dedication and effort on how you treat others.

    Reply
  5. linda (burlap+blue) says

    October 23, 2012 at 5:15 am

    so well said…there was a great (in)courage post yesterday that reminded me that my job is not to fix the other person or to make them see my side of things…my job is to extend the grace and forgiveness that has been so graciousy extended to us. Thanks for the reminder! xo

    Reply
  6. Erin @ Isaboo Designs says

    October 23, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    I had a situation a few months ago where someone complained about my product and I responded kindly and explained my return policy and for an explanation of what the issue was. It became clear very quickly that they were not interested in a resolution, they just wanted to complain. At first I got upset, but I sat back and thought about it and offered a replacement product. Of course there was no reply. My sweet email in response to their nastiness obviously wasn’t what they were looking for. Kindness always seems to diffuse those situations and oddly enough a few hours after deciding to just let it go I received 2 very wonderful emails raving about my product. You cannot please everyone because some people are just out to be not nice. Good stuff as always :)

    Reply
  7. Alesha says

    October 23, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    It blessed me so much the direction you took this post! Thank you, thanks you, thank you for taking such a godly and humble approach to this tough topic!
    On a another note, do you have a small business lisence? If so, at what point did you get one? Thanks so much! You have no idea how helpful and inspiring this series has been!
    Alesha <3

    Reply
    • Gussy Sews says

      October 24, 2012 at 8:07 pm

      @Alesha, Gussy Sews is an LLC, which started when we were ready to start hiring.

      Reply
  8. pronvideos boobs boobs says

    May 23, 2013 at 8:05 pm

    These are genuinely wonderful ideas in regarding blogging.

    You have touched some nice factors here. Any way keep up wrinting.

    Reply

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ABOUT MAGGIE WHITLEY DESIGNS:
Maggie Whitley weaves her writings around joy in motherhood, homemaking, faith, and simple living. She homeschools her children, enjoys a quiet room while reading, and roars with laughter over the challenges & delights of motherhood. Maggie and her husband, along with their four young children, live in metro-Detroit. She has been writing online since 2008.
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JOY in motherhood & homemaking 🧺🌿💓✨

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Reflecting on this today 💓🕊 When I reflect o Reflecting on this today 💓🕊 When I reflect on the moments I’ve felt my mind spinning, my emotions swirly, it’s almost always when I’m not feasting on the word of God. Not that reading scripture is the cure for anxiety —no! Rather, it’s hard to worry when we’re worshipping.
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#mothersofinstagram #tea #winterreading #hygge
I fought every internal comment I could think of a I fought every internal comment I could think of and took my kiddos for a looooong walk today before dinner. ❄️✨ There’s just so much work required to raise children! I’m feeling like a tired lady. But sunshine & fresh air are good companions to keep around. 

We came home and I made “the best dinner ever”. Max specifically announced, “it’s so great you’re launching new meals to the world”. LOL— kids! 🤣👏🏻💓
How about a little Wednesday night introduction? 😘Social media sure has changed over the years and we don’t always SEE who we’re following or remember WHY we’re following certain accounts. 

So, hello! As you can gather, my name is Maggie ;) 

I started writing online (almost 13 years ago) to share the handmade products I was sewing. My shop was called Gussy Sews. ✂️👛I love the community that has grown from sewing & sharing online.

Let’s FFW to today: Zack and I live in Michigan and have four young children (2 boys & 2 girls). I slowly left the handmade industry and walked right into homemaking, homeschooling, and encouraging women through writing. 💕📝

Motherhood has been very hard on me. (And not just because of how close in age our four children are.) It’s been hard for me because I fought for years to accept that *it’s supposed to be hard*. 

I mean, how do you effectively teach another person to know and love the Lord? Bc that’s how I think of motherhood: a calling to nurture others by studying the One who nurtures me. So I gotta make the first move: study the Bible and seek Him first. As my friend Autumn reminded me, vulnerability births transformation. 

(I’ve had to be really vulnerable!)

So, yes motherhood has fully transformed me. But even more so, Christ has fully transformed me. My list of “all that He’s done for me” is off to a beautifully long start.

Something else I want you to know about me: I stalled for years before acknowledging I have anxiety and depression. It’s hard to talk about this because of course this isn’t forever “my hardship”, but rather because acknowledging this means to heal I have to work through some really difficult things. ✨

But my friend Jesus walks alongside me. He’s already done a mighty work in my heart, including helping me process my anger in healthier ways. I’ve also adopted a heart for sisterhood, mothering, and Titus 2 mentorship.

Sometimes our greatest losses are our greatest gains? That’s what I’m clinging to!

How about you? Tell me something about yourself so I can get to know you on a deeper heart level. 🖤🖤
How do you play in the winter? // We had a really How do you play in the winter? // We had a really great time visiting family in northern Michigan. On my blog I share a few ways we played outside, plus I describe a memorable childhood game ❄️☃️. Did you play it as a kiddo?
We had gotten a bit lazy with our rhythms: screens We had gotten a bit lazy with our rhythms: screens in the morning (HGTV), playtime before lessons, and not enough quiet time after lunch. This made for a really, ummm, unenjoyable learning experience. 

But today! Today we reset the rhythm, and we have had a much happier home & time learning together. 👏🏻
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It’s another cold, winter day. ❄️Today I hop It’s another cold, winter day. ❄️Today I hope to bundle up for another family nature walk, knowing the fresh air sweeps out any & all frustration, inviting inspiration inside. ✨That’s something we all need more of.
seriously LOL: I’ve found the secret to calming seriously LOL: I’ve found the secret to calming the Laundry Beast (as a family of 6). Who wants the inside scoop? ✔️🧺👏🏻
Another batch of “fun mail” is headed out tomo Another batch of “fun mail” is headed out tomorrow :) small celebrations like this are very life giving! PS. thinking of starting a zoom book club — I need more sisterhood in my life. 👏🏻📖
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Breakfast with Buzz! If only you could see his ful Breakfast with Buzz! If only you could see his full costume and laser blaster and of course the Buzz action figure he flys around 🌟💚💙💨someone has discovered a superhero crush! #joyinmotherhood #slowmornings #surprisedbymotherhood // Landon @ 2.5yo
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It was the perfect opportunity to rearrange the fu It was the perfect opportunity to rearrange the furniture as we took the tree down Tuesday midday. Def one of my fav things to do.🎄👋🏻 We made it through our first week back to school since mid-December! It was rough to begin but ended with high fives. ⭐️✏️This morning I zoomed with a mama friend and I’m impressed with the many topics we covered. Sisterhood is sooooo necessary! ☕️👩🏽‍🤝‍👩🏼

Just a few cheery memories from my week! How about you?
Book reading! One of my best “Maggie” activiti Book reading! One of my best “Maggie” activities. I finished my last book moments before 2020 ended, which brought my started list to a close. Small joys add up to big joys ;)

What are you reading this year? Currently?

How many books are you planning to read? What’s your goal?

I’ll share what’s on my list for 2021 soon as I received some nice titles at Christmas. 📖✨🤍
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