The morning came faster than I wanted. I heard Natalie’s little footsteps toddling on the hardwood floors, and I knew I needed to get up before Maxwell woke up. He woke last night, burning with fever, and I rushed to take his temperature and offer him some water. I had just fallen asleep, but I knew the small cry he was releasing from his body in the middle of the night was an important one, so I got up to tend to him.
Thankfully, gratefully, Marigold didn’t wake up throughout the night — and neither did Natalie. Some nights the two of them switch off with who is awake during the night, and I feel a little like Miss Clavel from Madeline as I rush down the hall to see who needs me. I can feel Marigold will be ready for me soon, but for now she’s content.
This morning, as I settled Natalie on the couch, I pulled the living room curtains aside and looked past our covered front porch.
Fog. It’s a blanketing our street this morning.
Fog and fallen leaves and trash bins at the curb waiting to be picked up around lunchtime. Green hedges and yellow leaves sitting atop. It’s a sight to remember, one Los Angeles could never offer.
Inside, my robe matches my sleep pants, and ironically, Natalie’s milk cup. Pink. Lots of pink in our home.
My coffee cup sits near me and I let out a long exhale. My head hurts; I could use more sleep. But that’s not something for me to dwell on this morning. I know I can take a nap in a few hours once the kids are tucked in bed after lunch, but I try not to think about that too much. For now, I’m awake with our middle child and I’m enjoying this moment with her. And really, it’s not all that early to be awake ;)
Warm, creamy coffee. I let it wash down my throat and comfort my weary body.
I think about last night, how I sat at my sewing machine and watched the fabric move under my fingers and come out the other side with tiny stitches a quarter inch away from the edge of the fabric. I released the presser foot and cut the thread, set the fabric aside and grabbed another piece in one fluid motion. Repetition. Rhythmic. Familiar. I could do this with my eyes closed.
I think about the joy book I’ve been reading, the list I’ve been making, the joy I’ve felt multiplied. It seems like this new concept is the only reason I’m able to be awake right now, yet happy. Having spent three days away from Zack while on a hunting trip, having been awakened many times many nights in a row from a hungry baby and a feverish boy. I think about how writing down my joy moments is a welcomed change of perspective. Counting up to one thousand gifts, even though I’m only a few pages in, has already refreshed our home. I feel so refreshed.
Just like the fallen leaves that pile outside in the street and atop green hedges, this list is such a welcomed changed of perspective for me.
It’s a blanket of grace, and it’s got me completely covered this morning as I yawn.
Praying your sweet Maxwell feels better. This post is filled with love, joy, and gratitude. One Thousand Gifts is my favorite book(and I’m a reader:). It not only is a beautifully written book, but it changed how I lived, always looking for the gift. Hard to explain, but even in the darkest days when my dear mom had dementia, and then when we watched her pass, gifts were everywhere. You’re blog post is my first gift this morning, thank you! :)
Hi Alice, thank you so so much for your comment :) sure means a lot!
I’m reading One Thousand Gifts right now. It’s so good! Just what I need right now. My heart is heavy with grief & loss, but even in this season, I have gifts/blessings all around me. I SO need the reminder!
I’m sorry to hear you’re in the thick of grief & loss. Keep reading the book… ♥
If there was a like button – I would like it and then add a heart emoji ;)
This is the kind of blogging I like and miss – thank you Maggie!!! I am hoping that blogging gets a kick start and renewed interest!! As I feel may bloggers have waned a bit — and I get it – things change – but this post – this is what I love to read!!
have a great day!!
xo
Hi Tiffany! Wow, what a kind compliment, thank you! This was a fun one to write, I actually did it while sitting with Natalie this morning, before anyone else woke up.
As for this post, you can always share it to your Facebook profile by using the social media app at the bottom of my post :) If you felt like sharing, I would be so appreciative :)
:) I shared it on twitter as I don’t have a facebook account ;)
xo
YESS!!! What she said! <3 <3
Thanks, girl! XX
Dearest daughter in love, This is soooooooo heartwarming, I love how you shine when you write, it is truly wonderful. My heart hurts to think Maxwell is not feeling well, but I feel assured knowing that he has the best mommy and daddy ever. Thank you also for sharing the pictures, I forgot that I had taken that family picture, and I love it!!! See you all soooon
What a fun surprise to see a comment from you :) I really, really enjoy writing here, and I’m grateful to have the time. See you in a few hours!
This is one of your most beautiful pieces of writing. I walked with you, and it made me feel so good. I think this “Joy” project is just what I need during the Advent season. Thank you for your light.
Beautifully written, love the word pictures so eloquently descibed. :)