Easter Sunday, two days before my surgery
My prenatal surgery incision, three days post-op
Zack at my bedside, about an hour after surgery
Baby Josiah, the day before my prenatal surgery
I’m so excited to leave the hospital and continue resting at home :)
I’m writing a lot of letters ~ Natalie skips to the mailbox to drop them off for me!
/ / /
It feels like a miracle I’m here, 13 days after my prenatal surgery, and feeling incredibly well. I’ve been home for one week, with each day bringing more strength and mobility. Through God’s graciousness, my prenatal surgery went better than the doctors anticipated. They were confident in the neurological work set before them, but seeing Josiah’s backside during surgery showed a better reality than they were expecting. I spent five nights in the hospital. Two of them brought the ease of having an epidural; the others were hard in their own unique, sometimes unbearable, way. I have seen how the Lord has used my past to prepare me for this recovery season. Isn’t that kind of Him?
Multiple times, while in the hospital, I cried from overwhelm. Sometimes it was over the pain, other times it was from gratefulness over the miracle that I am still carrying a baby. I have so much hope for the future. I do not doubt the goodness of God during this hard time, but I have wondered why God has chosen me to walk this path. My faith in God is my entire life. There is no questioning that this is the path for me (yet still I wonder, why me?).
The only way to the other side of this pain is to walk through it. Carrying a child with Spina Bifida is what God has for me and my family, our entire family. I have softened in my mothering (and other relationships) that seem to have only come from this diagnosis, though that is not the only thing softening ;) Sitting this much, even simply the lifting limitations, is softening me physically, too.
Ten years ago I experienced the tenderness of a c-section, and this recovery has been similar. Today, I’m thankful for the similarities as I heal and rest. Ten years ago I experienced a new type of sacrificial love, brought through motherhood. Today, I’m thankful for a new type of sacrificial love experienced through the pain of prenatal surgery. Through a series of possibilities, I qualified for and accepted this prenatal surgery for the sole benefit of Josiah. My incision spans my original c-section scar and up past my belly button. My limitations are vast. This is all for the glory of God and the benefit of Josiah’s future.
Zack’s tenderness toward me is probably the best form of natural medicine. I relied on him so much during my week in the hospital, and continue to now that I’m at our new home in Ann Arbor, MI. My children’s care and willingness to sit with me, to burrow a shoulder under my arm so we can snuggle, is another form of natural medicine I’m grateful to have. And our parents, who took our children to their homes so I could rest after surgery, have been wonderfully helpful.
In the coming days I hope to share more of my written thoughts. In the meantime, please continue to share how I can pray for you through a written letter. I have really been blessed to read your private requests and join you in mentorship through letter writing.
xoxo, Maggie
PS. Here’s what I’m reading during this time of rest: this devotional, this book on writing, and this novel.
PPS. Please read James 4:8; Psalm 139; Romans 10:13, and Romans 15:13.
My prayers for you and your family continue Maggie. You have a lot on your plate! Blessings to you!
Thank you, Jeanne! I’m praying Numbers 6:24–26 over you! xoxo
Dear Maggie, this is so beautiful to hear. I am as many times before greatly inspired and you and Josiah and your whole family continue to be in my prayer. Lots of love and healing wishes from Germany.
Hi Wiebke!!! Thank you for the prayer! What things are on your calendar this week? Are you working on a creative project, or reading anything interesting? xoxo
Praying for u everyday . God has been using u in this chapter in your life and will continue to be a witness to others ❤️✝️❤️
Thank you, Jackie! I will praise God for that thought! Through others sharing their stories, and learning about God Himself, I have been encouraged the most. xoxo
“Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.”
James 4:8 NLT
Dearest Maggie, Zach and your children,
Thank you for sharing this beautiful verse in this amazing and special faith -filled journey. I lift you up to our Dear Father for comfort, peace, and joy while on this path. I pray blessings on your love for each other, trust in Him and mostly faith that passes all understanding because you love Him with your whole hearts. Amen
Hi Ann! Thank you for the comment :) Isn’t that a wonderful passage? I reference it, and refer to it myself, often. xoxo
Maggie – you are doing a beautiful job sharing this journey. Another scared mother is going to be so thankful for your optimism and hope some day. Your writing makes such a difference!
I love your thoughts about softening. I think a lot about tenderness and showing more of it — this has strengthened my resolve. Thank you for this reminder.
And I hope you’re enjoying Ellie and the Harpmaker. If I remember correctly, cheese and pickle sandwiches are mentioned several times? I think this is the book that started my obsession ;)
Take good care!
Oh yes, the cheese and pickle sandwiches! They show up every other chapter, it seems :) I found this book at random at the library, but am enjoying it greatly. I’m not quite halfway through it. I imagine you are spending a lot of time outside with your boys. xoxo
God choose you to be Josiah’s mother, and many of us can see why! Your strength through this journey will be a testimony to others walking a similar path (or any trial). Your ability to shift your focus off of the earthly reality towards the spiritual work being done in you is beautiful!
PS: I’m glad you like the “streams in the desert”, that was my first devotional I ever owned! I leaned on it during my pregnancy with Wyatt . Love you!
Thank you, Tay :) I don’t know how to not focus on the spiritual work. Without God, I would be completely hopeless. Without Him, I wouldn’t know how to keep going. The earthly reality can feel overwhelming. Praise God for something greater than today or tomorrow to hold on to. xoxo