While it has been a few weeks since I’ve written here, you can trust God has been doing a lot of work writing on my heart. He has paved many beautiful paths for our family. My time since I last updated here has been kept busy with writing many return “thank you” notes, writing in my journal, Bible study time (Romans 11 this week), me tip-toeing around forgotten LEGOs on the rug, and redirecting my facial expressions to show JOY!
Ha ha, that last one makes me laugh because it’s very easy for my face to look a little “stormy” if I’m deep in thought, and I certainly have been deep in thought these last few weeks. I mean, can you even guess what some of those thoughts are about? :)
We have happily celebrated birthdays, my oldest turned 10 last week, and we have many more birthdays and anniversaries ahead.
Since my last blog update I have learned my amniocentesis has come back “normal” (praise to God!), so now we wait for my appointments this week in Ann Arbor.
We have settled on a name for our baby boy: Josiah Solomon Whitley.
Josiah means “God has healed.” Josiah was the king of Judah who found the Torah and wept after generations of having forgotten God, then reintroduced it to Israel.
Solomon means “man of peace.” Another Israeli king whose first and most significant act was to ask God for wisdom. He became the wisest man in history.
/ / /
I have six appointments scheduled between March 22-23. We should also know about approval for surgery on Thursday. Zack and I will be meeting with a pediatric neurosurgeon and a pediatric urologist while in AA. I will also have an MRI, an ultrasound, and we will meet with the Fetal Diagnostic & Treatment Center and Maternal Fetal Medicine teams.
I’m eager to see how the Lord is going to move this week. He has paved many paths by answering many prayers. God has flooded me with so much peace. I’ve been journaling very specific prayer requests, asking Him to move in very specific ways, and I’m seeing many of them answered.
For most of February, I felt like I couldn’t relax. It was a blustery mix of confusion, uncertainty, and a seemingly death as what we thought was happening wasn’t it at all. And while some of that is true, it’s not all true — nor is it the whole story.
In February I felt without comfort and detached from reality. I did not feel like my usual self. I know God’s presence never leaves me, but I felt very alone. Perhaps a better way to say that is is to say I felt very, very small. I cried a lot in February.
Through all of the emotions and mental struggles, one day it dawned on me that I was allowing myself to believe a lot of lies. I began to write in my journal specific prayers that were life-giving and full of healing. I prayed requests that were inclusive of God. This turned things around for me rather quickly!
March has felt like a totally new month for me. My mind has been cleared of the cobwebs. In fact, yesterday was the first day of spring! My children have enjoyed setting up little containers outside to collect the runoff water from the roof at our back deck. They’ve eaten lunch outside. We’ve heard the birds sing new songs, and the warmth of the sun is stronger.
Here’s a taste of God’s goodness.
- we have two leads on housing options,
- our concern for our family income while I’m on bedrest has been remedied,
- Josiah has been moving a lot and I feel his movements,
- I have been sleeping much better at night,
- my mind has absorbed the goodness of God.
Current prayer requests:
- for Josiah to experience miraculous healing and a beautiful birth story,
- approval for prenatal surgery (if needed),
- my children to feel comfortable and confident with the future plan,
- for Zack to continue to feel strong and unburdened,
- for me to continue living bravely.
I’ll celebrate 22 weeks of pregnancy on Wednesday. All the children come up to my belly and talk to Josiah. Maxwell is swift to take anything from me that looks too heavy, and he tells me multiple times a day how glad he is that I’m his mom. Natalie has a twinkle in her eyes every time she sees me. Marigold asks me a dozen questions each day about “baby boy.” And, Landon walks right up to my belly, cupping his hands around his mouth as he delivers very specific messages to Josiah.
We love this baby so much! The sun has been shining more often, and I’m thankful for many things.
“For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.
“If God is for us, who can be against us?”
I will be back with an update at the end of this week!