The owner of my heart.

maxwell-gussy-sews

these days I can’t take a photo of Maxwell without catching him mid-thought ;)

Not to get all mama // sappy // “this motherhood thing is so hard, isn’t it?” — but, I’m about to get all mama, sappy, “this motherhood thing is so hard” on ya. We have had some great moments this week. Some really happy, heart-melty moments. Maxwell is growing like a little weed while still maintaining those perfect rolly-polly thighs ;) And he’s climbing on everything and calling Bauer by name (at full volume). Max calls out, “ba! ba. ba. ba! BA!” and it’s seriously so so cute. At first Bauer used to run away whenever Max crawled near him, but now Bauer waits it out a few minutes before running away. Poor dog, he can only handle so much 10 month old baby.

Ten months. Yes. Oh my. HOW? :)

So right now, as I type this, it’s Wednesday night, and it’s been a patience-trying week. I know to step away when I need a little reset, but it’s so hard when you’re looking at a 12 hour day of potential patience resetting. Zack’s working on some really crazy commercials so he’s spending a lot of time at work. It’s OK though, I’ve got a nearly empty bag of mini chocolate chips nearby ;) We made it through another day of play and baby jabber. The apartment is quiet and all of my really sappy mama moments are hitting me in waves. The first happened the other day as I was rocking Maxwell. I always pray aloud for him/our family when I rock him at night, and that particular night I decided to pray for Maxwell’s future wife and the little baby she’ll be holding in her arms some day. And I lost it. Totally lost it. Hot tears were pouring down and I couldn’t stop crying. These babies God blesses us with, they certainly are precious.

My second mama sappy moment happened tonight (Wednesday night). We’re working on establishing a bedtime routine for Max, along with teaching him to self-soothe. Yep, there’s a lot going on here — told ya (wink). I had the idea to set my Pandora app to the children’s lullaby station and then I settled in to nurse him. First the app played Kiss the Girl from The Little Mermaid and I thought, “Oh, that’s exactly what happened with Zack and I… it all started with a kiss (and now I’m holding a baby (hehe)).” But then the app played The Circle of Life from Lion King. And then (!) it played Hundred More Years by Francesca Battistelli (the song is below). That song is known to wreck me into the sappiest of messes.

Hundred More Years by Francesca Battistelli on Grooveshark

I couldn’t help but snuggle Max a little bit closer. I don’t know exactly why God choose me to hold the title “Maxwell’s Mom”, but I’m awfully grateful. His conception and birth has brought me to my knees many times, but really — the wonderful part is I know I’m not done praising God for the miracle Maxwell is; the owner of my heart.

Comments

  1. 1

    says

    Tears in my eyes for sure! We are moving in 2 weeks, so the stress of that and the love for the little ones is just overwhelming in two different directions :)

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  2. 2

    mom whitley says

    Wow, talk about tears in my eyes! Especially since your sweet hubby took up ownership of my heart about the exact second I knew I was pregnant, and has never stopped bringing me joy since, for going on 29 years!!! And especially thankful that Dr. James Dobson from “Focus on the Family” taught me to pray for who Zack would marry someday (that was when he was only 6 months old) What an incredible blessing to me and to you to realize that you were “hand picked’ by God for this most special place in this crazy family. Thank you for all you do. Love mom

    [Reply]

    Gussy Sews Reply:

    @mom whitley, I’m playing the song for Zack right now at our kitchen table and I’m crying again :) love you, mom!

    [Reply]

  3. 3

    Jessie says

    If you haven’t heard it, you need to listen to “the one who knows” by Dar Williams. And have the tissues close by. ;) Those bed time routines are ones that you will cherish forever!

    [Reply]

  4. 4

    Tiffany Marshall says

    This Is So Awesome. I so know how you feel my first born turns the big 1 on Saturday and I’m so overjoyed and become a big pot of tears when I even think of the fact that one day he will leave home. I feel so blessed to be my little Morgan’s mommy as well. :-)

    [Reply]

  5. 5

    says

    Oh man reading this post I got chills. I don’t have any children but all the songs and the significance of how they tie together your life story is AMAZING!

    [Reply]

  6. 6

    says

    I let out a loud “whoosh” when I read about your prayer for his future wife – your future daughter in law. Whoa. I do the same with my 5 month old guy. My hubby and I work in film/tv and he’s in nights on his show this week. Solo parenting through these long shoot days is hard, amen?

    [Reply]

  7. 9

    says

    i’ll pray for you friend. I know first hand how HARD it is to be a SAHM for LONG hours without a break. Just remember many women have gone down this same path before you. You can do it!

    [Reply]

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